The Prophet

A friend of mine called Thanksgiving morning to wish us all a Happy Thanks giving, and to see if I wanted to ride with him and his bud's for "Toys for tots" in early December.

At any rate, during the call, he was eager to mention a TV program called "Full Throttle Saloon". He extolled on how it was "the greatest TV show ever", and "This is what Motorcycling is all about".

Note that he is a Harley owner, and the kind of guy who wears leather chaps, leather jacket, fingerless gloves, but never a helmet.

So... last night I was flickin' through the channels, and I saw the program was on. I took the bait.

Synopsis:

A Sturgis bar, catering 100% to "Bikers". Supposedly the "Largest Biker Bar in the World".

Owner has endless problems, kind of an 'Orange County Choppers' cookie cutter theme, but involved with running a bar.

Now I am sorry I even mentioned it, as readers of this thread will be intrigued, and tune in.

Bottom line: Absolute, positive, no doubt the dumbest, crappiest, most embarrassing (to the bike enthusiast, rider) program ever. Almost worse than "Sons of Anarchy". Is there a secret, behind the scenes plot to further besmirch the name of the sport? Are their Communists behind this?

Drunks galore, posers by the hundreds, cookie-cutter "chopper" style bikes parked outside, far as the eye can see.

Stripper / waitresses with obvious massive self-esteem issues and ultra low I'Q's. Why is it that sometimes these floozies are mildly attractive, until that moment when they speak, and you are appalled at how stupid they amazingly are.

Actual quote from the program: " All little girls like to play dress up, and when we get older, we like to dress up like whores"! Really?

The owner wisely hires ex-cons, ex-addicts, and otherwise low-life garbage, then is stunningly surprised by the fact that they are incompetent, and/or don't show up on time, if at all.

In reality, if you watch the show, it leaves you with an uneasy feeling about how far down people will go to make money. It also brings to light the thought that "Bikers" are merely large, overgrown children - Luckily, with less average intelligence than a child - and under these circumstances need to be treated as such.

Burn out stalls, rental cabins specifically to pass out in. Women readily available to utilize as sex objects, and who will artificially be nice to you, and speak to you, just as long as you are a paying customer, and a big tipper. It takes a "real man" to do this.

The testosterone you could cut cleanly with a dull knife, and in the end, you also get a queasy, stomach turning feeling about the homo-erotica, and the mutual; "man-crush" activities going on. Don't drop your chain wallet!

In the end, I should have known better. This guy goes to Sturgis every year, and it IS without any doubt the highlight of each year for him. If this is "what it's all about" I would sell my bikes tomorrow, and never admit I ever even knew what a motorcycle is.

Point (finally) being: Be extremely careful, and selective, before announcing what YOU believe motorcycling is "all about". Obviously it means many, many different things to different people. Anything ranging from the thrill and competitiveness of the sport, the opportunity to be outdoors, the freshness of being "uncaged" and out in the elements, an isolated, individual pursuit, then perhaps gravitating all the way down to a perceived substitute, or compensation for feelings of male incompetence.

Whatever the circumstances, as in so many things in life - "To each his own", and curses to the guys who think their way is the only, or best way.

Ride Safe (and YOUR way)!

Bob

Please don't ever watch it....EVER... please!

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• A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu
• Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
• Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know. ~ Cullen Hightower

Speedtrip

My wife and I caught that show a few weeks back, definitely good for a few laughs. We know another couple who went to Sturgis last year he rides a BMC chopper and she rides on the fender. They live for this stuff the group that they ride with have a clubhouse and the whole nine yards. I have been to BB&BQ rally here in Fayetteville since it has started and have to say the whole rally thing is beyond me. Can't figure out why people would ride 600 miles to be in a massive crowd of drunks for three days. That said these rally's are huge and people use these as their vacation every year. Must be something to it, way to vent or feel like rebel among 500 thousand rebels, but there is no doubt that this is a large part of what motorcycling in America is about.

I tend to float from group to group. Two of my brothers are strictly cruiser riders and anything over a couple hundred miles is a long day ride with them. A day with them usually takes a leisurely pace with sight seeing and lunch included. Then I have sport bike friends who ride full throttle with max concentration livin' on the edge. Then the group I probably enjoy riding with the most are the sport touring types long rides at a good clip.

It is easy to see why riders segregate themselves because the different disciplines of riding draw very different types riders.

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-Shaun-

The Prophet

I hear ya'. My point was to be cautious about either stating, or hearing broadbrush utterings about "This is what Motorcycling is all about!".

I too have ridden from time to time with this type of crowd, and yes, they seem to love it. A day's ride consist of:
1.) Get all dressed up in the "uniform" of the rebels.
2.) Ride 5 minutes to the first biker bar.
3.) Drink beer for two hours. Act "like a man".
4.) Ride 5 minutes to the next Biker Bar
5.) Drink beer for two hours. Act... "like a man".
Repeat as necessary.

As you said, there must be something to it, as so many buy into it. One good thing, your bike would last virtually forever, as you only put about 50 miles a weekend on it.

I tend to ride long range, as in leave the house at 7:00 AM, return at 5:00 PM, having only stopped for Lunch, and maybe at 2-3 "Scenic" overlooks for photo's or just to dig the view. Usually (80%?) it's two-up with the wife.

I do the "Slimey Crud" run, which has grown to 100+ bikes over the years, but is only a 2X a year bit. I normally don't care for these "Mobile Traffic Jams", but that one is fun, and 99.9% of the guys riding are real enthusiasts, and into the bikes and the technology Vs. the "image".

The older we (my wife and I) get, the more we appreciate comfort, and reliability in a bike. At 20 you can rough it, pack two sleeping bags and a pup tent, and roadside repairs used to be par for the course. At 57, you appreciate a comfy seat, a windshield, decent motels and the ability to run for months at a time, nay years, without a breakdown or mechanical issue.

To each his own, but I prefer very small groups if any, and the company of folks a little higher up in the gene pool scale. Not snobbish or whatever, but I also could never understand the attraction of drinking and riding. Reeks of a 'death-wish" to me.

I guess if you can view the TV program with a sense of humour, and are able to see the ironies and sense of "trying too hard" in it all, it maybe has some value. It brings to mind those horrible car crash black and white movies we all had to watch for High School Drivers Ed. Sorta' shocks you into seeing the light?

Ride Safe!

Bob

__________________

• A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu
• Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
• Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know. ~ Cullen Hightower

motowebmaster

It's all about money. If you're going to down hard-earned cash on a hardtail and make the pilgrimage to Sturgis, there better be a good show.

I still wish I had the money and time to tool around on a BMC Bobber, but in reality the bike would rarely be ridden outside of my city limits. For Sturgis, I would make my hotel reservation a year in advance in order to secure a good spot for my FJ Cruiser and Trailer, and I wouldn't ride outside of Sturgis unless it was with a group in order to take advantage of the awareness that it offers to other motorists.

Would the experience depress the desire to hit the hills on my VFR? I'm not sure, but it would be fun to find out.

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Shawn - MotoWebmaster
Motorcycles International
My Photos

The Prophet

A word (or two) about “What Motorcycling is all about…

Motorcycling used to be the ‘great equalizer’. If you were up on two wheels (sometimes three!), no matter what you rode, you were a ‘biker’ and fully accepted as part of the group. I absolutely do not recall EVER hearing someone comment negatively or condescendingly to anyone else regarding their bike, or the cost of anything. It didn’t matter on iota about brand name, engine size, MSRP of the bike, level of performance, whatever. As long as you had a bike, you were accepted. I believe it had a lot to do with the fact that riders at that time were scarce, and we were always more than happy to have another ‘biker’ in the fold. To this very day, “Cool” behavior has to do with how you treat others, and how well you make everyone around you feel comfortable, and accepted.

What always seems to ruin things is when someone jerk decides to begin ‘elitist’ behavior or attitude B.S. The new “my bike is better than yours” crap, or looking down ones nose at another motorcyclist because of brand name, performance level, money spent, etc. It seems that this is escalating lately, much more pronounced among newbie’s and posers.

You see this more and more on the numerous motorcycling websites, more so – of course – on the branded (Example: “Honda”) sites, as those who may feel a little insecure or slighted (maybe they were unaccepted by the other brand?) lash out at anyone who chooses to ride something different from their choice in wheels, their specific model choice, their selection of accessories, and so on. Who ARE these guys?

The worst quotation I ever heard about Motorcycling (or anything for that matter) was on a site such as that, and it went “Motorcycling is all about having money. There are those of us that have it, and can spend it on our bikes and accessories, and there are then there are those who don’t have the money to spend. If you don’t have the money, you shouldn’t be riding”.

Someone actually said that, I’m not kidding. Compare that with paragraph #1 above. Back “in the day”, that guy would have been immediately stomped, and pantsed*.

“Elitist” crap is what I don’t care for, and what else would you call a $220,000 motorcycle? What would you do with such a bike, besides look at it in a security vault? Same goes with a $40,000 new Indian. Why? This is “instant elitism”, and I call it crap.
When there are tons and tons of bike offerings with better performance, better value, better usefulness, and so on, there is no pragmatic reason to be buying an overpriced “VIP” bike other than elitism, which to my mind, is the opposite of “the great equalizer”.

Done… for now.

Bob

*Pantsed: Removing the pants of someone acting superior, or pompous. Pants are then hidden, and the offending person ridiculed and pushed around repeatedly. Offender must return home… pantsed. Person usually, if ever, returns chastised and less pompous.

__________________

• A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu
• Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
• Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know. ~ Cullen Hightower